idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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