I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
