Pappa wants mamma naked
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
