yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
