i think my mom watched the whole time
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
