thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
