I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
