if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
