she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
