I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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