I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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