If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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