he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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