Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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