census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
