You're earring is so big in my mouth
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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