I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
