Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize