she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
