: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
