So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
