I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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