it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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