PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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