I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
