You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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