you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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