i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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