Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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