It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize