she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
