This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
