May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
