Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
