Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I need moral support for this bender
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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