she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
