I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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