oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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