Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
