At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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