It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
