We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
