So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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