You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
