We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just invented taco cereal.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
