do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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