So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
