And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
