Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
