I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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