the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
