you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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