Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
