Nicole vs. Life
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
