I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS