We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
