I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho