just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.