ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize