One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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