He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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