so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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