a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
