Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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