Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
