And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
