She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
