1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
