But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
