come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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