I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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