Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
