I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
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He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
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Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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