good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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